- attractive person: i wish i was attracti-
- me: get out
- what if one day for 24 hours everyone with a tumblr turned into whatever their url is
- everyone else's anons: omg you're so beautiful like wow i love you your blog is my religion can i marry you please? your music taste is asdfghjkl and your HAIR omg i want your hair and have you even looked at your eyes wow please you're perfect marry me
- my anons: you like free stuff, and we like marketing research. head over to tumblrmarketing(.)com, fill in a short survey and claim your free gift.
- do you think Adele is sick of hearing all of her songs too
- me: should i make a sarcastic comment or not
- if you don’t drink
- you’re not better than people who do
- if you do drink
- you’re not better than people who don’t
- if you don’t smoke
- you’re not better than people who do
- if you smoke
- you’re not better than people who don’t
- if you wear crocs
- there’s no help for you i’m sorry
- “quote me on your blog”
- — my mom
- read this if u wanna date me
- How I flirt: *stares from distance*
- I just wanna hang out with nice people who like rock and don’t mind if I talk about music all the time.
xxx: A list of things that do not offend people
- the perks of being a tumblr user
- and in that moment i swear we were reblog
- we accept the notes we think we deserve
- you see things. you gif them. and you post it
- Do you ever listen to a song, or an album, or a band, and suddenly it hits you and you just want to run down the street screaming the lyrics?
- what do you mean i’m not beyonce
- shakespeare picking a pencil: 2b or not 2b that is the question
- me about to talk in public: *rehearses what im going to say 50 times in my brain*
- me: today how you are
- there are certain people whos textposts i love reading even if they arent funny or about intersting stuff they just have a nice way of talking about their lives
- you dont know pain unless youve tied your hair with a rubberband and then tried to take it out
- my talent is avoiding eye contact from people i know in public
- mom: what do you even DO on the internet?
- me: i have no idea
- Fact: There are 360 directions not one.
(простите, но ХАХАХАХАХАХАХА :"DDD)
- Things that annoy me
- slow internet
- when the internet is slow
- when you’re on the internet and it moves slowly
- that thing that the internet does when it moves slowly
- something that moves slowly called the internet
(ДАААААА)
- Me: talks about band members as if they're personal friends of mine
- Me: talks about movie stars as if they're personal friends of mine
- Me: talks about fictional characters as if they're personal friends of mine
- person: are you athletic?
- me: i run
- person: oh sweet
- me: *whispers* a blog.
- on a math test: 2+2
- me: use calculator just in case
- me: takes out textbooks and pencils
- me: rewards self with 99 hours of internet
- i actually have a good number of followers but everyone ignores me so it feels like i actually have 4
- isn’t it strange how attractive people are really just a nice-looking arrangement of atoms
- like
- damn you have a great deoxyribonucleic acid arrangement
- the heat of my computer evens out the coldness of my heart
- shoutout to my boyfriend in the hospital with a severe case of non existence
- This is a formal apology to everyone who’s ever heard my laugh
- me: unpopular in real life and on tumblr
(ладно, это просто шутка, на самом деле я довольна своими 316 фоловерами. хотя опять-таки i actually have a good number of followers but everyone ignores me so it feels like i actually have 4)
- i wish i could be a mermaid because then i’d have pretty hair and i wouldn’t have to shave my legs because no legs
- on the outside I may appear like an emotionless sarcastic piece of shit but just like an onion when you peel off more layers you find the exact same thing every single time and you start crying
- to die by my computer’s side is such a heavenly way to die
- me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing
- why am i not a banana
- break is definitely the best part of work
- unfollowing spree
- i might be socially awkward in real life but at least when i’m older i can say that i didn’t take facebook pictures in the bathroom or have autoplay on my blog
- one upon a time there was a princess in a tower and a prince came to rescue her
- “fuck off” she said “the tower has wifi, does your horse have wifi? i didnt think so.”
- “what” he said because this was not how fairytales usually went
- so she pushed him out the tower window and then went and posted about it on tumblr
- *cute boy walks past*
- me: no wait come back i love you
