- some people look really good in pictures but then not in real life
- some people look really good in real life and not in pictures
- i look really good behind a brick wall
- do you ever think about how weird reading is
- our eyes are able to scan these different symbols and construct the scenarios and concepts they describe in our mind
- and these concepts have the power to twist our emotions and make us cry and laugh and wow reading is weird
- even crocs are more attractive than me
- i can’t wait until im famous and can redirect my about to my wikipeia
- i want a boyfriend so he can buy me food
- “you’re just missing a concert” they said
- “it’s not like it’s a big deal” they said
- “it’s just a band” they said
- “what are you doing with that axe” they said
- im not saying that i am beyonce, but im not saying that im not beyonce
- what if all of your favourite bloggers were secretly actually cats
- teacher: where is your homework
- me: queued
- do you ever have imaginary/potential conversations with people in your head but then catch yourself accidentally mouthing the words out or making faces that would go along with your reactions in the conversation
(Я НЕ ОДНАААА)
- real courage is knowing that nobody really likes you or your blog and continuing to blog anyway
- me when I go anywhere
- me: ugh there are people here
- 99% of my socks are single and you don’t see them crying about it
- Dear people that invented tampons and pads,
- Could you make those wrappers just a little bit louder or maybe add some fireworks? Because I’m sure there are still some people down the hall that didn’t know what I was doing.
(простите, но ДА)
- me: *goes out in public*
- just kidding
- me at every social situation: I don't know what to do
- Straight males: I will never understand women.
- Gay males: I will never understand women.
- Gay females: I will never understand women.
- Straight females: I will never understand women.
- me: why am i putting this on the internet
- mum: did you get home safe?
- me: no i died a few times
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
- me: omg what if I actually said something out loud
- me: omg what if there is a telepath around here
- before people get to know me: Oh my god you're so shy...and quiet...it's adorable
- after we become friends: DEAR GOD DO YOU EVER SHUT UP
- shortest horror story ever
- computer: unable to connect to the internet
- i really should stop using the password i created in the fifth grade for every account i ever make ever
- on a scale of 1 to america how free are you to go on a date with me
- north korea
- dont judge me for things i did a few seconds ago ive changed since then
- just because i’m not posting
- doesn’t mean i’m not here
- watching
- waiting
- blog what everyone blogs: don't gain followers
- blog what I want: lose followers
- *makes milkshake*
- *looks sadly out at empty yard*
- me: I like this character
- character: *dies*
- me everywhere all the time: what the hell is going on
- satan: let there be wifi passwords
- satan: let there be calories
- satan: let there be post limit
- satan: let there be swag
- satan: let there be crocs
- satan: let there be One Direction fans
- satan: let there be girls who wear band shirts and not know the band
- how do you lose weight by tomorrow
- signing up to something
- ”Try again. This password requires one uppercase letter, one number, (at least) one swastika, the blood of your first born and a bird skull”
- can you pretend I’m not ugly and annoying and fall in love with me
- I love how a band/album can represent period in your life and that every time when you listen to it you get a weird familiar feeling, as if you’re going back in time to that part of your life.
(несмотря на то, что у меня в жизни ничего не происходит, у меня тоже так :о)
- i can feel you judging me from across the internet and i am uncomfortable
- me: falls in love with stranger over the internet
- IF YOU COME INTO MY MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM AND MY MOTHERFUCKING DOOR IS CLOSED I CANNOT BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHAT WOULD MOTHERFUCKING POSESS YOU TO LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN WHEN YOU MOTHERFUCKING LEAVE MY MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM AGAIN LIKE DID SOME MOTHERFUCKER DROP YOU ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEAD AS A CHILD OR ARE YOU JUST A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT
(хотя моя дверь открыта большую часть времени, потому что так лучше работает интернет)
- I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
- thank you tumblr for helping me learn band members names before i even start listening to them
- this long distance relationship is killing me
- i’m moving my fridge to my room
- me: why am i so ugly
- me after 2 seconds: why am i so perfect am i even a human
- anybody who says people don’t change hasn’t been on tumblr long enough to look at their archive
- those bloggers that you want to be friends with but they are too cool for you
- Me: GUYS GUESS WHAT?!
- Family/Friends: What did that stupid band do now.
- when people seriously compliment me
- it’s like
- wow are you being
- for real
- like
- god bless you and your family
- and I hope all your dreams come true
- amen
- me anywhere i go: i wonder how my blog is doing
- a haiku about making pasta
- god fucking dammit
- does it really take that long
- for water to boil
- me: accidentally closes book without saving page number
- me: PTERODACTYL SCREECH
- friend: there's nothing worse than death
- me: final seasons
- me: post-concert depression
- me: when there's no food
- me: fictional characters dying
- me: hipsters blogs
- me: your crush asks someone else out
- me: no wi-fi
- friend:
- me: when porn appears on your dash while someone is behind you
- me: oh and crocs
- Normal people playing video games: Oh wow this is fun!
- Me playing video games: MOTHER FUCKING BITCHASS HOE YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME OH MY FUCKING GOD SERIOUSLY NO WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT I HATE EVERYTHING WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE SHIT DO WHAT IM FUCKING TELLING YOU OH MY GOD PLEASE FUCKING MOOOOOOVE FUUUUCK *slams fists down on desk* I FUCKING GIVE UP ON LIFE WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING CUNT UGHGGH ASSHOLES OH MY GOD WILL YOU SHOOT THE FUCKING GUN STOP RELOADING ASSHOLE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME OH MY GOD OHHHH MYYY GOOOODDDDD SJBSJSKDHSJS BDJSMD SUSHJSKD AGGHHHHHH FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK
- a haiku
- IT’S SO FUCKING HOT
- I’M GONNA MURDER MYSELF
- WOW I HATE THE SUN
- I feel special when someone online calls me by my name it’s like aw you took one second of your life to remember bless your little soul you beautiful human four for you
- my tumblr pet peeves:
- automatic playing music
- music that automatically starts
- when a song just starts automatically when I go to your page
- that song that interrupts my song because it started without my knowledge
- music on your page that just comes out of nowhere
- Use of Profanity With Age
- 8 years old: oh my gosh i said 'shut up!' mom is going to kill me!
- 18 years old: WELL FUCK ME OVER SIDEWAYS AND DICK TOSS THAT SHIT TO HELL I FORGOT TO PRINT THIS OUT.
- do you ever listen to a song and feel this deep inconsolable sadness that makes your chest physically ache but yet it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world
- do you ever wonder what like cave women did when they got their periods i think about that like every day
(ДА)
- friend: how long does it take to get there?
- me: about 5 songs
- i tried having friends once
- if you’ve ever had a crush on me god bless your poor misguided heart
- me at school: dont touch me i have more followers than you
- can you get a tan from having max brightness set on the laptop
- me showing someone a band: ah omfg okay this is so exciting so you should probably start of with their earlier music from before they were famous just to get kinda a feel for the band yeah okay and then like the first album is good but not as good as the second the second album is so perfect ah omg and the third one is even better jslsndl the fourth was kinda their low point but yeah its still good just dont base what you think of them off that album but yeah you have to listen to these songs in this order cause thats how its supposed to go and dont forget all the singles im so disappointed this one didnt make it onto the album ugh this song i love the way he breathes in this one dont you i could have sex with this song do you like them so far pant pant
- sometimes i feel bad downloading stuff illegally but then i remember i don’t care
- do you ever just listen to yourself and wonder how someone hasn’t punched you in the face yet
- mom: go outside
- me: dying whale noise
- me: facebook.tumblr.com
- me: google.tumblr.com
- me: youtube.tumblr.com
- me: tumblr.tumblr.com
- me: omg why isn't it working
- when i was 11: worry about internet people finding me in real life.
- now: worry about people in real life finding me on the internet.
(worry about internet people not finding me in real life :C)
- Me: *waiting to be attractive*
- boy: i like you do you wanna hang out sometime
- boy does not exist
- boy is a figment of your imagination
- you are in a psych ward
- every teacher before they draw on the board: im not an artist
- period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
- period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
- period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
- period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
- period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
- period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
- period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
- period: See a female specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
- period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
- period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
- period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
- period: Yell at a puppy.
- period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.
- my laptop is hotter than me and that’s a problem
- Have you ever been so hungry that you cried
- non-english speaker: I am awfully sorry at the terrible state of my English abilities, as for the English language is not my mother tounge. I hope you forgive me for every foolish mistake I make.
- me with english as my first language: lol it okei
(я отношусь к первым. хочется надеяться, что может мой английский не так уж плох. хахаха нет, он ужасен)
- how do fourteen year olds get pregnant, I can’t even get a high five from a guy
- rap music is one letter away from rip music, which is fitting because its killing real music
- i don’t blog
- i am blog
- people: you have to be more lady like
- me: suck my dick
- no offense but i want to set you on fire
- Parent: These years are the best of your life!
- Me: wait what it gets worse
- plot twist: the cinema club only had one door
(ХАХАХАХАХАХАХА :DDD)
- I’ve been 18+ since I was 12
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