Немного новых тамблрских текстпостов. Только в новой теме их неудобно читать, в старой пробелы между каждой цитатой были больше.

• my mom: it's 11 go to sleep
• me: actually its 10:58

• still not sure what exactly math is
• a way to communicate with Satan

• put some numbers in my ask
• 1: let's have sex

• teacher: NO DON'T PACK UP WE STILL HAVE .00000007 SECONDS OF CLASS LEFT!

• i like how on tumblr we don’t complete our sentences. we kind of just

• Do you ever want to talk to a cute boy but then you remember you’re ugly

• My body is 70% tea.

• me every time i wake up: not again

• forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door

• do you ever just think about someone and immediately get really happy because their mere existence is a source of joy to you

• let’s get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake

• me when i lend a book to someone: bend the spine i bend your spine

• i think we all have at least one fictional character who’s death we’ll never recover from

• i alternate daily between being an introverted pretentious intellectual and a 5 year old child

• school
• reblog if you cried

• once in 1st grade there was this girl i really wanted to talk to and befriend and i remember one day we were washing our hands in the bathroom and my A+ conversation starter was “hey you use 3 paper towels me too” and she just ignored me like that explains my entire life right there

• There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’

• you cant spell “procrastination” without “ocra” which kind of sounds like “okra” which is a vegetable idk where i was going with this post

• Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

• me: party at my house bring your computers

• i’ve got 99 problems and they’re all concerts i can’t go to

• Sometimes i talk in song lyrics and my friends don’t even notice

• Baby's first words
• In America: Mom
• In England: Mum
• In Spain: Mama
• In Brazil: Please come to Brazil

• how is cooking feminine i mean it’s fuckin knives and fuckin fire and fuckin dead shit

• me: breathe if you'd date me
• me:
• me: stop, you're gonna pass out

• People: You're ugly.
• Me: Okay.
• People: You're stupid.
• Me: Cool.
• People: I hate you.
• Me: I don't care.
• People: *your favorite band/group* can't sing.
• Me: I give you 5 seconds to run.

(убиваю на месте)

• I’m not in the mood to exist

• Do you ever sometimes think dirty thoughts when you’re in a public place and then start to think about if someone is telepathic so you start throwing around random things in your head like ooh cupcakes

• i dont like getting yelled at i literally stand there and burst into tears

• Plot twist: You're out with friends, and your hair looks great.
• Plot twist: Your hair looks great.
• Plot twist: You're out with friends.
• Plot twist: You're out
• Plot twist: friends

• whenever u feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in ur body and all they care about is u

• do you ever just wanna do a backflip but realize you cant

• how many tumblr followers do you have mom
• yeah that’s what i thought

• when you have unlimited texting but only text two people

• first of all, who allowed me on the internet

• at least when you are hanging out with yourself, you get to pick the music.

• have you ever noticed that some tumblr users come in sets
• like they never stop talking to/about the other person so you may as well follow them too
• it’s like buy one, get one free

• the “you wouldnt download a pizza” campaign is the worst way to convince people not to steal music of course i would download a pizza do u know who i am

• Do you ever just stare at really attractive people and think “how”

(Эндрю. он ведь даже косметикой не пользуется :ооооо)

• me when i first joined tumblr: woah how do you do those gifs and cool edits
• me now: woah how do you do those gifs and cool edits

(хотя там сейчас очень мало "cool" edits, одно говно)

• why is every book a new york times best seller

• ACCIDENTALLY STEPPING ON YOUR PET IS THE WORST THING EVER
• THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU STEPPED ON THEM AND THEY CAN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND YOUR APOLOGY BECAUSE THEY DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH

• u kno ur a 90’s kid when u look at ur birth certificate and it says 1990-99

• i’m so upset i have to choose between being asleep and being on the computer sometimes

• me: everyone is beautiful and should accept themselves no matter what everyone is lovely
• me: except for me

• my life is a text post with 0 notes

• fun fact: no matter how friendly we are or how often we talk i will always feel like i am annoying you

(да)

• you guys should start talking to me now before i become famous

• I get awkward when someone compliments me and idk what to say
• someone: you look pretty today
• me: happy birthday

• before tumblr i spent the same amount of time on the computer but i seriously cannot recall what i did

• a plus-side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and i will not judge you because i will also be in my pajamas

• me when i’m almost home: I can almost taste the internet

• i dont even have to put my name on my math homework you can tell its mine by the dried tears all over it

• YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING HATE
• WHEN YOU’RE IN THE SHOWER AND YOU BUMP THE CORNER OF ONE SHAMPOO BOTTLE AND IT KNOCKS EVERY SINGLE THING IN THE SHOWER OVER UNTIL YOU’RE DROWNING IN BOTTLES
• WHAT THE FUCK

(OMG YES)

• Me after just cleaning my room: Wow, I am never letting my room get messy again!
• The next day: has anyone seen my bed

• it’s been a day since you last updated your blog are you ok

• true internet friends don’t judge each other
• they judge other people
• together